Memorial Day is a day to remember those that were lost in this country for the name of War. And we all could relate because we have all fought wars and maybe some were with no bloodshed. We are always fighting for something.
Maybe we don’t feel home in a country or a place that we thought we felt home at before. Maybe we lost that passion to do something we love because we felt the pressure from others and nothing truly fit. And the passion wasn’t there as a result. There was a fight to do something that felt so natural. And I guess times have changed. I am telling this story because it referred to my writing, but it only dealt with the blocks in myself.
I was so discouraged after the scammers put a plague in my life. And my motivation wasn’t there. I went into a new relationship, but I truly was blaming myself and others for me not writing. I got discouraged. The fact is I was making excuses, I didn’t want write endless posts where I only made a fool out of myself as I did earlier blogs.
But I missed writing and writing shouldn’t have turned into what I made it to be so I took time off. I had to have been in a better frame of mind and I wasn’t then. I was angry. I was upset at the scammers who had screwed me and I didn’t want to be told by someone you should have listened to me when I should have. I was wrong in that aspect. I have always been stubborn and never listened to anyone else but myself. With my relationship now it is changing. I’m learning to listen maybe I am not that perfect and get upset at times, but something happened to get me to write again. I realized I had been making excuses. And I shouldn’t.
The Fact is I shouldn’t make excuses and shouldn’t have doubted myself and I stayed away. I did stand tall despite defeat, but I have been rebuilding. Now in my relationship I could do something that I couldn’t do before and that is eat what I want now I have money. The scammers just wanted to steal because they are cowards they didn’t care about my next meal. They wanted me dead. And there is no justice because they got away. They will have what will come to them Karma will follow and if it wasn’t for my new relationship I wouldn’t have been saved and something worse could have happened to me I would have wound up dead or in prison from them and they would not have cared they would have gotten what they wanted and they would have killed the messenger. This is why I thank my girlfriend now. And she has taught me a lot more. And she broke down why I have been so stubborn in my views even when I am wrong on something. She taught me to think things through even though I don’t want to.
Things are going better now. And I realize life may never be perfect, but I realize that I am writing again so it is important. Rather then complaining I could do things to improve and I can read again. I could do the things I used to maybe I am getting used to a new relationship and I’ve got to make sacrifices and I am getting used to a new setup, but I am learning more every day and I realize that I have to learn to compromise. Compromise is something they discussed in the Bible. It results in a successful relationship. And maybe we don’t get the time downpat but it takes a lot of work. Maybe there needs to be more work in this for successful relationships. And from what I’ve learned this is what I am doing now.
Back to what I was discussing about with The Start of the Summer. I found my passion to write again from this weekend and I know that this Summer I’ve got to go to school. I need to build myself again which I haven’t in awhile. If the best is yet ahead of me I got to build myself again. And things will fall into place. As of right now I need to go to school again and I am starting over again at least with my writing and education and the learning curve of the relationship.
This is the Unofficial Start of Summer and I thought I had a lot to learn again. And I will go to school again. Maybe I will produce like I produced before even better. I know she will make me a better person. She has already helped me to rebuild again. She got me to this point and I will not fail with it. It is time to begin again with my education in life. It is no time to be lazy. I need to remember who I was before. No more excuses.