When I was a kid growing up about 32 to 31 years ago, my brother and I took on roles. One of my roles was Joseph The Russian Bear, and I was a wrestling fan and I liked The Iron Shiek and Nikolai Volkoff, when I wrestled with my brother and my cousin growing up this was my name. That team was my favorite team growing up they were funny. However, when I took on the role as Joseph The Russian Bear, I was taking on the role of an immigrant who was born in America that competed against his brother and lost all the time. In that role he truly wanted to be capitalist and American, but didn’t feel like it.
It was a different time then me and my brother grew up towards the end of the Cold War. I was not an immigrant, and although I was an America born in the United States of America. I took on the role of someone who was a kid growing up competing all the time and losing consistently to my brother who represented America.
I always wanted to win, but couldn’t win and this affected me. I always strived for that one victory and never could get it. Even with relationships at the time I floundered. I wanted to be the best and greatest and couldn’t, and everyone my age competed, but instead of being like Russia and won, I was the young born and lost.
I took on the role that was different, when everyone wanted to be like Hogan, my favorites were the villians like The Iron Shiek and Nikolai Volkoff. They never forgot where they came from, especially Nikolai Volkoff. Vince told him to play the role he hated as a Russian I later found out. In that role, he showed the world what he hated about Communism.
I did the same I took on the role of what happens when a Russian loses. Nothing was ever good enough. I am of Italian, Czechoslovakia, Polish, and Hungarian decent and later found out that I had Norse blood in me. And I repeat I was not Russian, but let the identity take on the identity of itself.
No matter what I could do, I could not take on and win and the idea of losing stuck with me and was burned in my head. I felt I could not do any better in life. And recently in my life, I have been on a losing streak with life and wonder why, but they key was granted. I don’t know what to say, but a big part of my past lies in that role I played.
Anyone who knows about Dissociative Identity Disorder knows roles may be buried that we don’t know about and I had a role locked in my head. It may be the key role that could unravel my foundation. And I will discover my essence again.