I decided to write a blog about knowing your role amongst siblings knowing that the holidays are coming again and it is the time of year when we met our siblings again after not seeing them for years or one year. It gets like this amongst families.
Some siblings fight over the simplest thing and keep fighting for years after. And when you are the black sheep of the family it is not easy. These are some things that families go through.
It is a matter of a role. There are prized sons and daughters and then there are those that go against the family and sometimes they get along. And sometimes they have mutual respect with what each one has gone through.
In the book Discover the Gift by Shajen Joy Aziz and Demian Litchenstein it talk about a story of a brother and sister who were at war with each other, but many years later they came together again and the healing began. With the healing of them they each realized after awhile that a part of themselves was missing. Healing only began when they realized not to run away from the past that they have been hiding from.
When I have grown up as a kid, I was the last born and my brother was the First born. It was just me and my brother. When I was younger, I was always upset and complained that my brother put me through hell as he taught me to be better at sports. My brother took someone who was not athletic and made me good at sports. There were many days that I broke down in school because the teasing was bad or something wasn’t right with me emotionally. My brother was there to keep my head up.
I never forgot how he instilled the hard work ethic in me. He taught me to strive to be the best even though I lost all the time. He taught me to work hard in life and eventually I will get to my goal.
A lot of lessons we learn in life are there for a reason. And we might not realize the message in the lesson and then we don’t grow from it. This is why it is important to pick up on subtle cues.
My brother was classic first born child. He excelled at sports and he beat me in everything. I was the last born and I had to find my way in the family. I had nothing in common with my family as far as birth order both my parents and my brother were first born and I was the only one that was last born. Growing up I felt misunderstood, but growing older I understand them more.
Being last born I fit the stereotypes. Outgoing, problems with money, etc. We are the one who always have something to prove and we are the biggest critics amongst ourselves more then anyone. Imagine growing up and being your own worst nightmare. This is how I grew up. Out of all of my worst nightmares it was the one staring in the mirror facing me. Just as every challenge we face in life. Had I been easier on myself and not worried and let life take care of it I would be better, but I was critical of myself.
Had it not been for people in my life holding my head up high when I was ready to fall and had it not been for my brother. I don’t know what I’d do.
It’s the Oldest child who looks out for their younger brother even when the younger brother doesn’t want to hear it and feel that they can do it on their own.
It is a dynamic of the siblings and we all face this as a brothers and sisters in the family.
We will face this now that the holidays are with us now. Just be appreciative of them despite whatever role. They will be there for you at times that might be tough. Even if you don’t want to speak to anyone because you are going through your hell. They might say words that might help out.
For more information about birth order check out the Amazon Kindle book l Birth Order: How the Roles of Each Sibling are Placed at Birth? It is a book I wrote two years ago. This will discuss some ideas about birth order and how we were placed at birth.
Thank you again for your support. And Have a Happy Thanksgiving. Feel free to comment.