What is Love to Me?

What is Love? For the past few months I have been feeling the euphoric feeling of love and that passion I have not felt before. It is no denying our passion is strong for each other and I am talking about my blogger Justina. Everything is euphoric that reality settles in and preparation is being meet. While every red flag is being sent and there might be that chance that she will not show and I will be waiting at the airport for awhile like a fool. I have to say that chance is there.

The fact is we work on a trust system and an honor code.Love is this honor code and is working on this code. The fact is Justina has taken me on a ride that I don’t know how to come off of and I don’t know if I am ready. It seems that everything is all together. And I want her in my life. With Love being euphoric and it is I question and will explain the different kinds of love that is needed.

Trust: You got to know it you arrive somewhere blindly, what if she doesn’t show or I don’t show. What if she never comes or I don’t show up leaving her there alone in a strange world to fend on her own. These thoughts run through our minds. But we work on a trust system and have built up trust even though we are working on blind faith and never meet each other in person.

It is true of all the warnings I have received from everyone all prying information all trying to get information from me. All I say is tune into my blog and you will see this love story of us unfold.

Trust is saying I will be there some say they will leave you high and dry and other’s will say they are protecting you from getting hurt, but are they.

They are protecting from a love that has grown and they don’t know it, because they don’t see me talk about it, but I have expressed my feelings for her here and have expressed them on this blog and Justina was telling me in the beginning that I shouldn’t say anything because people will try to persuade me out of what we feel and get into my head to put doubt about her.

Nobody said anything to me when I was in a 6 years relationship, Nobody knew she kept putting me down, but they didn’t even look twice and thought everything was good when when we both were dying on the inside.

And finally I found something that makes me happy and worth fighting for because she has shown that fight for me. But all people think is I know nothing about that person and shouldn’t get involved or I should becareful.

But I hold out for love and I am willing to be there when she arrives and I know she is to. Everyone worries for me that think I am not happy, but the fact is besides my friends, she has made me more happier then I have been my whole life, but all you care for is seeing an individual.

Whatever happened to love. Meanwhile everyone is dying in their loves and their is no passion any more in it and people been through three marriages such as Presidential Candidate Donald Trump. Well I have never been married, I have never met Justina, but I am willing to spend the rest of my life for her.

Why? It’s because how she makes me feel about myself. Besides my close friends, a few co workers, and a few people who have helped me in my life, What have people done for me with happiness. Where were they when I was struggling to make ends meet working 12 hours a week. Oh I forgot they were laughing at me when I was writing a book at work and you know who you are.

Did they ever see I had a dream I was working on and what stands in my way to happiness. I’ve had people in my life to not make me happy, but people helped me through my breakup they showed me they were true friends. I might have not seen eye to eye with their views, but I respect them as individuals.

Nobody knows what pain I went through in life while everyone lives their lives, their are people like me and my friends who have suffered through pain and they are crapped on by society they go through their own turmoils. They fight for life and make it worth while, but they have become a prisoner of life and can’t escape. Where are you now?

I have grown through my turmoil I have faced insurmountable odds. I’ve been through the bullies of high school, the abusers of the group, hell in addictions, everyone criticizing me and telling me how I should live my life when they don’t know anything about my true passion I feel inside. They don’t know something strong is about to be released and I will teach the world to love again with Justina.

Nobody believes in the feeling of love anymore, maybe they are angry at their relationships because they don’t have love in them anymore and go their separate ways. Maybe they don’t have that feeling to make it work. Maybe life is caught in a landslide because their is no passion in the world and people don’t believe in love stories anymore. Some say why waste your time with someone overseas when you could have someone here.

Because someone there will love me back and their is only one true love.

Who is Justina? Justina is someone who is filled with an undying passion. Before I met her she had given up all hope on love as she written she believed it was a myth, then we met each other and life changed for us. At first I had attacked her and accused her because I had been warned of the Ghana scam that is going on. And we argued the first day, because she said she wanted money, she was living the scam I thought and I was not going to give any money, but I asked her to blog at the rate that I would have paid my ex for her blogs. And it wasn’t expensive. She did what she asked and respected me, we built trust for one another. That first time we talked we stayed up 4 hours talking to each other she wanted to show me that she was real she showed her video on Skype heard her voice on WhatsApp and our love grew.

Then we had one memorable night that we both talk for 4 hours chatting through Skype. In that memorable night we communicated our feeling of love that couldn’t be felt. It was intense and passionate that we laughed we cried and we touched each others heart. It made me keep going despite my doubts I had as she had for me. Our duet of poetry paved the way for our romance. We connected as if we have known each other from our past lives. The feeling was so great it can only be expressed for love. And only felt.

Then we continued. And we were honest with each other rather it was from a blog or from our chats or from hearing each other voices from time to time. She communicated the only thing she could and she communicated love. And she said the words I Love You over and over again. Words she couldn’t express at times because I spoke to her from my heart and not from that script inside my head. Even though I could hear my heart from my mind.

She remained loyal to me. She kept on checking up on me even at our time difference. She let me know she loved me and I did in my own words. I had trouble saying the words I Love You at first, but her actions made me love.

If you know what I know about everything she went through in life you would say she deserves to be happy in love. And she went through pain in her life which I won’t go into detail, but she will discuss her story.

We are going through a healing process. People get scared when we are talking about love and the get worry. They truly can express how we feel for each other. Yes I am playing with fire, but every bit of it is worth it because if I get burnt my heart will be on fire.

The fact is our souls connect in a way that I can’t explain and I know no one will understand and they will try to talk me out of love, but I am a man and I am a man who fights for a cause. I am a man who fights for love. And I am willing to go to the airport to see her and kiss her the first time I meet her and we will hug each other hard and tight. It will be a romantic story and it will be lived. It will be memorable moment towards the end of July. July is a hot month for passion and what we feel will be filled greatly of that passion.

I ask you with this strong intense feeling that I feel for her a feeling stronger then love that I can’t deny, with the forces of the world keeping us a part we will fight for that love and she is willing to give up her life for love. Leaving everything behind when she might not be secure with her life. But we will fuel our fire and live.

Are their doubts? In love you have to be willing to fight for that love and they will fight for you. Nobody fights for love. They think it is some kind of an illusion and they want to knock you out of Cloud 9 because they ain’t happy and they don’t want you to be happy. They are jealous of you and what you have.

Protection, I don’t need to be protected from love. If I fall I’d rather fall and go through that pain again knowing that I gave it my all and loved even for a short time. I’d rather live that moment when I meet her and kiss her on her lips knowing that I will hug her, they I will have a second chance at a relationship and will have redemption as a friend told me.

I’d be willing to go through that pain for her because I trust she will do the same. We will show that the rules of love apply in this world still. We will show a passion so strong that every blog every feeling we have felt will be echoed through this world and the world will change. This is the love that I want and this is the love that Justina will give me.

I have blind faith in this situation and no one has blind faith any more they don’t trust their hometown nonetheless someone from their world. They don’t trust who they are anymore.

They don’t trust a world full of hate and a world full of that pain. Even though this kiss won’t be recorded and maybe a picture will be taken. It will be remembered until the day we die and we will have a story to tell our kids.

We believe in love again and it might not be in the traditional sense, but it’s the way love is supposed to be. Give me that chance Justina and I will take you on a journey you won’t forget. 4 months ago I knew I was losing something in my life and I didn’t know the pain was hard so I reach out to friends who helped. Except the friend who called me a wierdo with glasses who was screaming in my ear to pick up women at a bar and talk to them in front of them embarrassing me and pissing me off.

When I talk to women after while when I was with them my self confidence level was at a state I would have approach anyone I want and would have got them, that is why I self sabotaged myself going for a woman with blind faith. Because I believe in love and I believe in the love story. I know we will kiss because she visioned it.

People aren’t there for you when going through pain. They aren’t even there to call you when you break up and counsel you when you are down, they would probably question. Now I have found someone who will make me happy and it doesn’t matter where in the world they are from, they question me prying information out of me. All the information is here for you and just stay tuned I will release more.

For the people who were there for me such as a person going through a breakup same time telling me a story about change to get me through the day, or it was a woman at the bar who was going through a break up and listened to me go through my pain. She taught me life is to short. Or it might have been a barista who was there for me to help me keep my head up and start loving yourself. Or it was a person who heard my anger after I broke up being their the best he could. Or it was a friend who told me to introduce yourself to a women everyday building my confidence up. Or it’s new friends who wish a better life for you. Or it’s a friend who cared for you and entered your life again when needed. They went through their fair share of pain, but they were their for me. Or it was a therapist, who counseled me through my breakup and helped listen to me. Or it was a spiritual healer who gave her whole to make me the person who I am today fighting to clear the negative energy surrounded by me. And I know I am forgetting other people in my life people who have been there for me. I thank you for helping me. You help me to love myself again. You helped me to start taking better care of myself again. I thank you.

For those who are concerned for me don’t be. I’m going to fight for love and I don’t care where I go. I won’t go anywhere, but she will come here. And we will see the world that is in pain and we might reach the world through our blogs, but we will touch the world one by one we will make the world believer’s in love again.

We lost that idea of love the idea only in a fairy tale. A time only written in a Disney Movies with Castles and Princes and Princesses. For many there is no fairy tale their is a situation that someone beats them and makes them feel less then a human should. Or someone who was abused by people earlier in life. They laughed at us or didn’t feel what we feel. And the fact is all of you evil bosses from my old job and you know who you are, all of the people who abused me and you know who you are even though you lie and say that didn’t happen, you can’t control me anymore, or it’s the people who picked on me at my high school table and bullied me to get their lunches everyday and I was humbled by the experience.

Everywhere like that their is a John Chisom who takes me under his wing and treats me like a friend where no one was around I could trust in high school.

My life has been full of pain. To all of you haters, to all of you supporters, to family, to friends, to all the people who put me down, to an exfiancee where it didn’t work, to those who I’ve worked with that kept me going through the dark times and if you were in JCPenney you saw it.

All of you have given me support or have made me feel that pain. And through your hatred, protection, not letting me be the man I am.

Everyone I have come across has taught me to love. They have shown there expression.

There is also a close friend who busts his ass every day and is there for you the way a friend should.

To everyone I’ve mentioned and the many I didn’t rather it was a teacher who took me under their wing or a teacher who said I would never make it.

To the People on Facebook or Twitter or a person who helped me get involved with writing spiritual topics and saw something in me even if it was for one month.

Whoever it is for my 33 followers including Justina, who I respect.

Rather they believe in it or not I have been fighting for a moment in my life that has been meaningful such this my whole life and none of you will take it away from me. And I won’t let any off you take it away from me. I went through a lot of pain and suffering in my life including a mental health problem, two addictions that I beat, depression amongst everything and I fought to survive. I also was on the verge of suicide because of heavy medication and a pill of Lithium Carbonate and a High dose of Haldol. I was a zombie and wanted out, Just think of what I would be missing if I did that.

So to everyone. Let me have this moment with Justina at the airport. She went through pain in her life and deserves that moment to. And we will embrace and that moment will last forever. And our Kiss will last a lifetime and we both will feel good. Nothing will stand in our way for this moment. We will feel good.

 

 

 

 

 

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