I wrote a long response to a blogger on my site. She raised a lot of valid points and I respect her views. But I am coming from a perspective where I did the opposite. I would have given the opportunity to had that with the one I truly love, but it never happened. I won’t go into detail now in this blog, but societal pressures have a lot to do with it as Justina said in her blog.
We are taught from an early age that it is good to have sex. With one “accidental touch” of a website we can find porn. It is more available then when I was growing up and I grew up in this time. Many men are losing their sex drives to porn. Not saying it is bad or not, but they are depleting their system and I was too until I learn that I can be confident with control of my sex organ.
Many of us especially in America live a fast paced, impulse society. They are either denied sex or are sex deprived and since men are trained by porn nowadays after watching it for 15 years or more, they act on impulse. If they don’t get it right away, they are going to sure as hell get it somewhere else.
How did the moral era of the 1950’s where Men had their wife, two kids and pet turn into what is going on today. Why is it that some relationships, my past one included don’t exist. And sex has to do with it.
We were a society that was built on mistrust, but a period of time you were loyal to the one you were with. You would have marriages last 40, 50, 60 years. They truly loved each other and work with one another despite the many problems they had.
Then everything happened with Generation Xers in the World. We were the society that introduced Woman equality, Gay Rights, Sexual Freedom, and problems such as AIDS do to sex and drugs. My generation was screwed up to begin with. We tried to live with the moral code that President Reagan set, but the problems were unsolvable. And then we grew up with a President who allegedly had sex with a woman cheating on his wife. These were our role models and people who we look up to.
Also, in wrestling we grew up watching the Nature Boy Ric Flair who paved the way with his generation. He was a Playboy, who drank, partied with women, had all the women after him. Had style, and was everything every man aspired to be. My generation including me looked up to Ric Flair. And if you are a guy, a sports athlete or anyone you know that. His role in society had shaped that generation and defined the new role of a man. Every guy grew up wanted to have as much sex as Ric Flair and they play it to this day.
Sure their were other celebrities, but my era was the time of the musician. And everyone partied and they still do to this day, but there weren’t as much rules and regulations as before. Everyone paid their price, me included. I know I never did drugs, but I paid my price in other ways.
Did you try to moralize a society who set all the rules only to break them all. We were the ones that introduced blogging.
We were the social misfits and we lived up to that. The truth is many kids my age were having sex at the age of 13 years old. It was heavily accepted in society now. Society realized it had problems but they now have the state raise the kids because parents have a tough time to do it. They have to work two jobs to support their family now because many are divorced and in single parent relationships. They are lucky if the Father is still in the picture. Thank God my friends try to be their for their children.
I know this eludes the question of Waiting for Sex until marriage, but Times and Society have changed. This might have been an idea of chivalry to wait until you get married, but like I said it takes a fortune to get married for a fancy wedding. Unless you do it with the Justice of Peace and it won’t be romantic as you want.
If your my generation you don’t have money because the system demands so much of you now and that is another story.
So what do people do now? They spend a fortune on marriage that half the time it will never last or procrastinate marriage with the one you love and keep them waiting for 3 years of your life until you are no longer together and they won’t even fight to save the relationship.
It’s the main reason why I preach to everyone that they have to be honest with their partner that they are interested in someone else, but them at the same time. Is this morally wrong to be interested in many woman at the same time, Yes. But does it develop a new level of intimacy and trust. Yes.
Because we live our lives in fear and we do things to others behind each others backs. We are afraid to say I am talking to another person for fear of what they are doing. Many people won’t take that chance to truly be free to experience life. And maybe they have a jealous egotistical asshole boyfriend who is so jealous for her that he cheats on her behind her back and at the same time beats her. Because he can’t control his temper. Like the Johnny Depp’s of the world.
A woman is meant to be respected and a man is meant to be respected to. When we don’t give respect to each other and allow ourselves to be human no matter how hard it is it will hurt in the end run.
I’ve been hurt before and had I told you the relationship would still be going on had their been a degree of honesty, but honesty wasn’t there and communication wasn’t there.
I don’t mean to bring up the past if my ex is reading, but I am writing to help people now through their situations, not to hurt you.
The fact is sex has a new definition. It is fast and impulsive now. And people wind up in a friend zone because they put themselves in a friend zone they are not honest to themselves of what they want and they aren’t clear. I was this way before and it has affected me before now I know what I am looking for.
Sex is something special between lovers, but now it is used as a tool to control the opposite sex. It is why based on the behavior some guys get no sex and some guys get all the sex. Who does a woman want to be with. Someone who is fun to be with and can make them laugh and someone that can be there for them to make them feel special through the day, even if it is sometimes during the day, or someone who just plays them without a conscious. They will lead someone on just to get what they want and they are out which happens in most situations. And the guy was fun loving, but they changed.
I am a player in the game, but I want to try to take the higher road. If I am talking with someone I will open up and say I am hanging out with my woman friend I am developing trust in the situation.
My views may be controversial and I may lose supporters for it, but I am giving the philosophy from a man’s perspective and all I’m saying is if their is dishonesty, be honest.
And if you are women in your area that has faced abuse, there are people that you can reach out to. Don’t feel you can let your abusers get away with what they are doing. In another blog I will write about the abuser mind set and I hope to help people through it. I wasn’t physically or sexually abused, but I was psychologically, spiritually and emotionally abused before. I won’t say the name, but I will explain what I went through during it and I will help explain that mindset.
To end of this blog I add a note, our views have changed and it is difficult to take the higher road in a situation, many feel they can’t be honest with one another and use sex as a tool. The truth is sex can be great between individuals and it can create life. Many feel births are unwanted, but they are as much part of the plan in a bigger picture. This has become our society now.
We can go through life always wondering what if. The choose to have sex is up to you and it’s up to you to decide who to do it with. My advice is if you feel right about a person and you feel right about a situation and your chemistry is right, but all means go for it.
If you have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach that it is a mistake don’t do it. Sex can be something that you do even if it is illogical. Sex can create intimacy on another level.
Men and women enjoy sex and their are many people living in this earth then before, why limit yourself to one love. Love them all. It’s true. Many people are not focused on hurting them that they hurt them all..
I know this can be debated, but their is I time where you will go through this faze and you will eventually spend the rest of your life with someone, but if you are not sexually free and romantically free and aren’t honest with the other, You may never experience that love you truly desire. Or if you are with someone, your love may never be as strong.
Image by Scott Webb from unsplash.com