I am going to be Devil’s Advocate on this one. I do agree with the logic of what Justina say in her blog on my site Is Premarital Sex Worth It? She raises up points with unwanted pregnancies, STDS, AIDS, and other illness and also emotional and psychological. All are true and logical, but logic doesn’t play a role in the decision of sex anymore and saving yourself for sex is very rare now a days. People don’t have that control especially men.
Men who might not be up and up with the moral code of waiting till marriage might not stick around for a women who will want their man to wait till marriage. A woman may want their man to be in control of their sex urges.
However, just recently a movement has been taking in place in America where the role of a man is not needed. Men feel just used for sex and for children and are thrown out to pay child support to the woman. It is true. The court take the woman’s side, when deep down inside men go through abuses in that relationship like no other.
It also works in reverse, I know situations where the courts will choose the abuser man to take care of the kids over the abused woman and they will get everything.
Basically, in this society sex has become a tool. Withdrawing it can be a very powerful tool. I remember when I was younger and went through my mental health issue and faced my abuser.
I tried everything I could to get a woman, but I was defeated and my spirit was broken. I won’t go into detail, but I went on the darkside and that was 9-10 years ago. I was it a path where I didn’t care about life and I didn’t care about myself. Would I say I would have saved that moment for someone I loved Yes I would, but I fell from grace and their was no redemption for me.
God’s people were sinners. Jesus took to heart and cared for Mary Magdalene when everyone was condemning her for her lifestyle she has chosen. He understood her and forgave her for her sins.
My views changed and have changed recently and after 3 months of my relationship. Although my views were not popular to many they are respected.
We worry about unwanted pregnancies and fear for what they might do. I guess this stems from the split between Muslim and Christianity. Where one women he was with was before marriage and I think the one he married he had another kid and the split happened and the religion war has been going ever since.
In my opininion, kids are never unwanted, they have their purpose. They might be a situation that happened do to premarital sex and it has happened, but their is no deny that they are driven more so then one with families. It is a stereotype that they weren’t planned.
In life God has a plan for everyone even the “unwanted children” You would have to think how would they feel if they were called unwanted. I know my friend who try to be their as a father even though they are out of a relationship and granted my friends might not have taken the moral path that some would think they are doing what they have been taught and how to survive and play the game of life.
They want to be there for their children and try to be a father. They have made mistakes along the way or have been held prisoners in their situation. Most men want to be their for their children. It is a myth that they don’t, but it’s the abusers that try to manipulate the system in their favor when they don’t give a damn who they hurt and you know who you are.
It is difficult to be a man. Their is no deny that a shift has taken place. A woman might be elected in the highest part of the government and the woman’s movement has won. Their is a shift going on. I don’t argue with this shift it needs to happen, but they can not deny the role of the man. They can not deny the role of how prevailent the role of the man can be.
Now man are not needed. And their is a rift between the sexes right now. Each battling for control and doing what they want. Women in my area of where I live depending on the situation screw the guy over or the guy screws the women over. And they both use sex as a tool. And in order to survive you need to be a player in the game and if you don’t know how to play, you will be the 40 year old virgin or maybe the 80 year old virgin.
Imagine going through life without being able to love or have sex. This is what runs through people’s and even my mind when I had sex. And I know it’s an excuse to say we are not granted tomorrow and we should live for the moment, but what if you die that day and never get a chance to make love or have sex with that person. Life is too short to think about that.
Right outside my Dad’s barbershop a friend of my friend had died I think in a car accident outside my Dad’s barbershop he works in. What would the tragedy be if that person died and met someone they cared about never made love or never had sex with that person.
Life is not granted. Sure their are warning and everything else, but life is to short to wait around for marriage. As much as you would like. This is why I play Devil’s Advocate. When people got married before they got married right away. Now when they get married you need $30 fucking grand to get married and half the time it doesn’t work out. Now your in a loveless relationship and in debt.
Marriage used to mean something and I’m in favor of it. Marriage is something to work for and fight for and if that person doesn’t fight for it is not worth it. I know there is that I idea of premarital sex and it is debated and I once held on to the belief of waiting for marriage, but there is too much going on in society and it might be a lot of anxiety that fills us all.
It is why woman are left to care for their children. People are backstabbing one another to get with your woman. And betrayal of the act causes the man to do the same in the future. It is a great idea to be loyal and wait, but if you truly love someone, no matter how many women or men you were with you will gain trust for them for their actions and you will gain trust for however they feel inside and you will let them grow and you will grow with them.
Sex is something great and maybe it the sex drive that drives many when we are brainwashed by society. This has been an urge that has been around since the beginning of time and every time their was a chameleon trying to still another’s mate and they succeeded.
Premarital sex has not only gone on in the human kingdom, but it exists in the animal kingdom to. They were not guaranteed life tomorrow when hunted by a wolf or a lion. They lived for today.
Sex is a great thing and a gift. But we are not granted tomorrow and we should be able to love. We need to be honest with one another how we feel sometimes we are not and we hurt one another.
I have to go now Part Two of this blog will be tomorrow.
Image by Scott Webb from unsplash.com